I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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