Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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