Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
