Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
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I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!