i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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