and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
