I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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