I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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