I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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