My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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