i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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