the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I want to make a zoo with you.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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