she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize