Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
