i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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