ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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