i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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