everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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