Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize