Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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