if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We're too hungover to prance.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize