Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
