Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
