i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize