oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
