if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
