I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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