Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
