I want to walk on stilts...naked
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
