THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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