Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
