he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
