quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
