Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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