he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
