Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
