Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
