Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
