drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize