I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
