I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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