Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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