it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
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Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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