so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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