I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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