If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
