We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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