I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
