so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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