It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
