i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
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Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Congratulations! We have a period
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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