And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
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6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
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Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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