i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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