Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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