he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
