OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
