mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
