I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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