The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
