Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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