where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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