My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
