They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
