O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
