He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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