Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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