Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
