when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
