____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
