I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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