there's paper in my vomit.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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