well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
