no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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