We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
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You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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