thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
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halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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